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People do change, or should say, everything around you it's like changing...
I don't like to change cuz I can't adapt well.. I don't feel like growing up..

I remember how when I was young, always being so 'depressed'?? Always think bad things going to happen and not even one single good thing is happening to me.. I hate that fear, I don't want to know how CRUEL the WORLD is, but no choice isn't it.. What A CRUEL WORLD we are in ...

I'm getting sick of how I always find everything so bad when I was young ...
I hate to remember those moments.. those ugly moments..

When you are being too good.. too nice... It's time when you are the one angry, you are 1oo times more angry, more crazy than those normal people who are angry..

Cuz you always 忍 。。。And it's not good, isn't it.. I KNOW.
I did crazy before, I did really angry before..
I did experience anger, pain, I had with my life.. how I always find everything so sucks, how I always cry in those nights, worrying about anything~!

I wonder how I slowly change to now.. Maybe with new school.. I change a lot, with my new friends around.. esp vb. I did learn a lot too, how the society is.

I've always live in a small world of mine.. I don't really had real friends like hang out after school those kinds cuz I don't really socialise with people when I was in pri sch.. Really wonders did I have fun AND happy moments?

Maybe I did, but those bad memories have surpass all those good memories.

I did thought of dying, reminds me when I write what stuffs in my message those times and my dad saw those, I really don know what to reply him.. Actually, I too things for granted T.T When the times I really want to cry and let out.. I can't.. Feel like I'm cold blooded or heartless.. Maybe I let go of those.. that's why I don't really feel the pain. I seem to forget how I feel during those times..

That's because I really let go le bah.

Actually, not really missing the old me.. It's just too quiet, it doesn't even want to bother with the people around you.. It just, like a mute person, who just shut herself and don't really talk much about herself.


In secondary school life, I learnt a lot and I know I still have a lot to learn.
And I really gain and lost a lot too.
Friends.. the most problem of all..
I never knew which one I can trust..

Never know.. but I really treasure 2 people a lot. I REALLY HOPE can stay friends with them for a long long time and I want to hang out with them often~! Just the 2 of them..


Things do happen for a reason and I believe, whatever all the things now,
maybe it is the right choice :)

Can't remember the pain but I don't intend to anyway, hope I won't get to experience that. I'm really feeling normal now.. Am I still human?? Yeah, guess so.. Or maybe I've grown stronger.. How I behave at home and school is so different..

Why keep harbouring on the past.. maybe cuz there's still certain part that I don't want to give in, don't want to admit.. Hey, Chong Sze Min. You are you, love who you are, accept for who you are. Be more confident to yourself.

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I want to PLAY T.T Whenever I saw 11:11 I keep wishing the same thing over and over again, hoping it will came true, even though I know the possibility is low but still, I hope it really came true. Cuz maybe on that day, I could be crazy over fun and being Damn High xD

Ok, feeling better after saying out~ Feeling a little sleepy, should go and sleep, 2 am something le ><>