I'm still afriad of what outcome will be regardless of what stuffs~

I don't want to lose friends, I don't want to be unhappy, I don't want to push my friends away from me.

I just can't make an effort to talk to my friends is it ... ...

I'm being quiet again~

I don't understand myself, I don't understand why I'M BEING SUCH AN IDIOT!

School has started and I think I'm getting used of it.

Since school starts, it's like I'm being quiet again, I don't like that feeling~

I find everything too tired, maybe I'm just tired.

I don't dare to speak up my mind, cuz I will only say stupid things out!

Sometimes I just can't take jokes, sometimes I just can't turn.. I feel like I'm supid..

Finally, I'm sad till I feel like crying.

I miss this feeling~

Happy? Hope I can feel that tomorrow~

I...................................................................... hope to have the confidence I want.

Is it I'm too soft? That's why when I want to talk, nobody really hears it, maybe that's why I don't really feel like talking.

THE MOMENT when I'm really happy, maybe a lot of memories of them but just that they don't really etched into my mind and heart. Well the sad memories, keep reminding me and what should I do to get the right feeling I want?

Should really find something to make me have the feelings that I truly want.

:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

I'm still young, enjoy my life~!

Chong Sze Min, the one and only ^.<

:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

Hi~ Recently too obsessed with those pictures that have meaning words xp
Anyway, only few days left for the June Holidays~
Make good use of these days bah :)
Feeling tired now but don want go sleep, hope everyday is a good day but that's not true at all.. You will have bad day on some days uh~
Got to go, next time post, bye~!

Love this, there are more, will post the next time~

=======================================================
People do change, or should say, everything around you it's like changing...
I don't like to change cuz I can't adapt well.. I don't feel like growing up..

I remember how when I was young, always being so 'depressed'?? Always think bad things going to happen and not even one single good thing is happening to me.. I hate that fear, I don't want to know how CRUEL the WORLD is, but no choice isn't it.. What A CRUEL WORLD we are in ...

I'm getting sick of how I always find everything so bad when I was young ...
I hate to remember those moments.. those ugly moments..

When you are being too good.. too nice... It's time when you are the one angry, you are 1oo times more angry, more crazy than those normal people who are angry..

Cuz you always 忍 。。。And it's not good, isn't it.. I KNOW.
I did crazy before, I did really angry before..
I did experience anger, pain, I had with my life.. how I always find everything so sucks, how I always cry in those nights, worrying about anything~!

I wonder how I slowly change to now.. Maybe with new school.. I change a lot, with my new friends around.. esp vb. I did learn a lot too, how the society is.

I've always live in a small world of mine.. I don't really had real friends like hang out after school those kinds cuz I don't really socialise with people when I was in pri sch.. Really wonders did I have fun AND happy moments?

Maybe I did, but those bad memories have surpass all those good memories.

I did thought of dying, reminds me when I write what stuffs in my message those times and my dad saw those, I really don know what to reply him.. Actually, I too things for granted T.T When the times I really want to cry and let out.. I can't.. Feel like I'm cold blooded or heartless.. Maybe I let go of those.. that's why I don't really feel the pain. I seem to forget how I feel during those times..

That's because I really let go le bah.

Actually, not really missing the old me.. It's just too quiet, it doesn't even want to bother with the people around you.. It just, like a mute person, who just shut herself and don't really talk much about herself.


In secondary school life, I learnt a lot and I know I still have a lot to learn.
And I really gain and lost a lot too.
Friends.. the most problem of all..
I never knew which one I can trust..

Never know.. but I really treasure 2 people a lot. I REALLY HOPE can stay friends with them for a long long time and I want to hang out with them often~! Just the 2 of them..


Things do happen for a reason and I believe, whatever all the things now,
maybe it is the right choice :)

Can't remember the pain but I don't intend to anyway, hope I won't get to experience that. I'm really feeling normal now.. Am I still human?? Yeah, guess so.. Or maybe I've grown stronger.. How I behave at home and school is so different..

Why keep harbouring on the past.. maybe cuz there's still certain part that I don't want to give in, don't want to admit.. Hey, Chong Sze Min. You are you, love who you are, accept for who you are. Be more confident to yourself.

====================================================

I want to PLAY T.T Whenever I saw 11:11 I keep wishing the same thing over and over again, hoping it will came true, even though I know the possibility is low but still, I hope it really came true. Cuz maybe on that day, I could be crazy over fun and being Damn High xD

Ok, feeling better after saying out~ Feeling a little sleepy, should go and sleep, 2 am something le ><>

What's the purpose of having a blog? Just to let people know what you have been doing?
Or just hoping someone will just notice you..
Everything needs courage, some things aren't meant to say out but just keep it to yourself, but sometimes, you will just feel like sharing with someone, pouring all your thoughts and feelings out~
SICK of something but idk what thing, just sick of it..
===========================================================







=============================================================
I still got a lot want to put but... I don think it's suitable to put in this blog, when I have time will put in the other one~!

Feels busy

For this 2 week of June holidays :x
So let's talk about the Indonesia Trip xD

Note: The Wind was REALLY STRONG~!
My 2 crazy sisters? LOL. xD Cows ^-^
only manage to take one dog? The others run away from me X.X cuz I'm a stranger to them >< Manage to ride Motorbike xD IT'S COOL~! Hope the next time I go, can ride to other places xD Feeding the cows xD Cool right? xD This ferry got my name eh~! xD Long story uh for this to happen...
So say about on the ferry back to SG~ My left shoe was spoilt but heng got superglue thanks to my youngest sis as when we were going to indonesia, her shoe was spoilt.. like me~
And when reached SG le, take taxi to home but not me..
I went home alone~ As got 5 people and normal taxi can't take 5 people, so I suggest I'm going home by myself ^^ Took bus and reach Bedok bus interchange. When walk past certain places, reminds me of something funny :x From bedok mrt station took to Jurong East mrt station and I was standing the whole time -.-
Reach JE, was going to take bus and while walking, suddenly my right shoe was spoilt! I drag all the way to that bus no. 98 and as the bus has come and I try to catch up uh, but when I was going to reach like about 20 steps away, the door was closed so I ran and just about to run, the sole of the shoe has come out, I ran back to take the part of the shoe and chiong to the bus..
So xia suay ar~ Everybody was looking at me x.x
But when I went to find a seat to sit down, I'm smiling :) Cuz It was funny and what an experience I had uh ;)
~sO FiNalLy ReAcH hOmE~
And I have write finish.. took me a long time to make this post xp