Volunteer for the first time

This morning I went to volunteer at a childcare centre located in Tiong Bahru. It was far .....

But thinking that I have to go and start volunteer for some events, I decided to start applying some from the SGCARE.

The experience from cleaning a childcare centre was not bad I guess. The childcare centre had a total of 3 bays and I was cleaning the first bay. It was manageable for the first bay and within 2 hours, we were able to finish it. The second bay was the one that needs a lot of cleaning hahah

I met 2 new 'friends' or acquaintance, they have volunteered for about 3 to 4 times in the childcare, I was like .. woah hahah. One of them, Hetty, she was a nice person!

Apparently she went to Australia to study, no wonder she has this English accent. It's interesting to know about her background. She's 27 years old this year, so she actually went to study for early childhood, which is way different from her poly diploma. She graduated with Biotech if I'm not wrong. I wanted to change and be a social worker in future. Her experience tells me that if I really want to do it, I should just go for it. It's still consider young right, starting my career around the age of 27/28 ..

Sighh I do want to get into the Full Time degree in social work in UNISIM. But I guess I should go and volunteer as much as I should. I heard that being a social worker requires my writing skills to be good. Maybe in the meantime, I should focus on improving my writing skill before I apply for the degree programme.



Yes I should volunteer as much as I can!!

Wanting to find a contract job that work for 3 months max but there's no job that are within my residential area. I am willing to work at far distance only if I am doing a job that is related to social services. For example, I saw this job looking for youth worker, it's at east side but I am willing to try! A pity that I did not get any reply.

I received a call about a job that is within my residential area. But I think I blew my chances away of getting it when I say I am able to commit in Aug 2016. But I try to push forward saying I am able to commit from 25th July onwards, hopefully I still get the job by then. :(

If not, I try find again .. Hopefully I can get it ah!! I don't care about having to wear formal wear already. I just hope to find one job that is related to social services somehow. Oh yes, my washing machine in my house is spoilt. Now have to spend another fortune to buy a secondhand one, shag.

My mum has too many commitments in relation to money. I don't even know if I am able to save enough money for the indonesia trip or not :(

Sigh everything is money money money.

Hopefully the next time I am posting, I could have got that temp admin assistant job for the eldercare centre.

A TRIP BACK TO INDONESIA

It's been about 2 years since I went back to Indonesia.
Going back this time is different. We have a car over here, we have wifi over here and I find that living here is not as bad as I thought it would be.

And the main difference is that Dad is not here anymore. We came here for 4D3N. I wasn't expecting it to be good. But it actually makes me feel relaxed. Well, when we came, my mum's new husband came to fetch up. I didn't recognize him at first and I thought he was some driver lol. Anyway, at first I was reluctant to have any communication with him, but after this few days of interaction, I find that he seems to be a nice man. But I felt guilty though, because dad just pass away less than a year and it seems that this man over here seem to be replacing him.

Of cuz, I won't treat him as a dad, just some guy that is married to my mum. At least he's good to my mum and that's all that matters. So I learn driving just now. Yep I didn't have a license, but it was fun learning how to drive uh. I feel kind of happy staying here, I even feel like coming with my mum every month for a few days lol. The clothes here actually not bad too! Guess I will save up and buy clothes from here instead lol.

It's really convenient having a car around lol. Hmm.. Talking about work, I think I will be sticking to my part time job till end of year. Because I like the flexibility of it. Maybe I should take the time to think about my future this year. There are so many things that I wanna do and all of it requires $$. Yet I do not want to be restricted from those working mon-fri, 9am-5pm job. If really working in those timing, I should do the job that I love to do. So this year I will try to volunteer more, bond more strong relationships with my indonesian relatives. Guess I should pick up my malay language soon.

I should learn to control my spending though, my $$ is finishing soon and i still got 3 more weeks to go? lol. Shag.



I keep planning but I don't know how to work out my plan well, this sucks. Should try to improve on myself. Hwaiting!!

Trying to work hard

Back to blogging again since my mum got a new laptop (secondhand btw), cost $150.

This laptop does not lag at all, so I find it easier to do a blog post now. Hmmm it's about 5 months since my last post, a lot of things happened. Yeap.

So .... I went for my Taiwan Trip around Feb. Although it was abit mundane cuz we freaking stay in Taipei only for 10 days lol.
But overall it was fun! Because I am out of Singapore hahah. The weather there was 10x better than SG. Why SG has to be this hot ... :(

After that I had my braces, I was afraid of plucking out my teeth for the braces initially. Because once I pluck out, it means I am really doing it. So yeah, I did it anyway. Wanted to change this profile photo of mine to recent one, but this laptop did not have any of my photos, so I shall let it be first. :)

Hmm.. I am supposed to go for Bangkok trip, but I forgo that. Because, I borrow a sum of money from my friend, and being addicted to sports betting, thinking I could win it all, I bet th half of that amount and I lose. From that moment on, I realize that I am really in some deep shit. Because when I try to borrow from mum, she say she was in difficult situation too. After helping to pay deposit for my braces, basically her long time Indonesian friend had cancer and need money for treatment. She has a house which is just beside my Indonesian house, so she say she will sell her house so that my mum will have a bigger home uh basically. Long story short, she pay some amount as a deposit for the house, then monthly installment payment for the rest. It's only recently that I found out she got another car in Indonesia and she's paying installment for that too. Seriously, why is she making so many commitments when she still has to pay so much bills in SG here.

So talking about money stress me out the most.
And when I start to forgo Bangkok trip, I have been going to work frequently. I didn't quit the Ichiban Sushi job because I have work there for 2 years already. I really don't want to give up on that.

I know I earn so little from it, I could have easily found a better job with my Banking diploma. But right now, I do not want to get a full time job because I wanted to get a uni degree. I intend to get into UNISIM, bachelor in social work. It's totally different from my diploma. But at that point of time when I was choosing poly courses, I wanted to get social enterprise, I didn't think about social work at all lol. But I talk to R and she say at least I have some business diploma I could fall back to if I cannot make it for uni..

omg I keep rambling cuz I have so much to say. Anyway, these 5 months have been, a life changing for me? Well actually no, but I have been doing planks once I woke up everyday. It has not stop at all, I find it damn amazing that I am able to maintain for this long. I have been working hard too! I didn't know I am able to do that, driven by the money of course.

Recently I keep thinking about relationships, maybe I felt vulnerable, so I keep wanting to get a relationship, to feel love and support from my love one. I want to feel how it's like to be in love. But it's so difficult to find someone that is able to understand me, because of my financial situation, I find it hard to relate to most of the average teens here. I've been thinking about my poly friends too. I find that the distance between me and them, in terms of my financial status, is so far. It made me feel kind of down though, like I don't belong. But I am damn surprised that this one coursemate of mine, she like really understand my situation and always motivate me. Although we are not close, but she's really nice to tell me not to give up. I guess because she had similar background as me, but I was not clear of how her family situation is like, only knowing that she came from a single parent family.

Okay back to the reason why I do not want to take on a full time job yet is because ... I like the flexibility of working part time, I can just give the schedule I want. It's not a fixed 9-5 job thing. Of course the pay will be so much lesser. That's why I want to get a full time job that I would like to do and able to do it for my whole life hahah.

I am trying to be positive towards life now, recently, my second sis trying to scare me, she say mum going back to indonesia, so I kind of panic, because how am I going to survive?!?

I have a lot of responsibilities because I am the eldest and my second sis is being such a selfish brat. I don't think she's able to go back to the society anymore. I give up on her already.

And I am disappointed with my younges sis result for her mid year exams. Guess I have to check on her studies already. What I am trying to do now is to improve on my life, make it meaningful and productive. I know once I am free, I will just keep watching drama, and that's not a good thing at all. This only shows that I don't have the self discipline to push on myself to do a more productive stuff. So I guess from July onward, I just have push myself by working more, volunteer during free day. I should try to help my sis in her homework too.

I should try to improve on my house condition too. Don't ever use being busy working as an excuse and not clearing the house. I should be more diligent in learning my korean, afterall I am spending the money on korean lesson too.

Guess I have rambled enough hahah. Tomorrow I am working again :X

FIGHTING FIGHTING FIGHTING

I will come back to post again when I'm free, hopefully I become a better person the next time I post. :)

It's My 20TH BIRTHDAY

So......... It's my birthday today!!

I'm using office hours to do this now, cuz I'm afraid that I do not have time to do this later on, I think I will update all the photos tomorrow hahah

Sooooo let's start with the morning!!
Basically in the morning while waiting for WJ, I board on the train with him with no seats at all! What a morning, shouldn't have wait for him lol
Oh and in the morning I saw some of the messages from some of my friends, the most touching one would be Sin Bao's one. Actually I do like feeling appreciated sometimes hehehe He say he was thankful with all the things that I have done and tell me not to be so blindly the one to be making all the effort. I am touched that at least there's someone who's being appreciate of what I have done.

Well I want to write more but the rest need to put some pictures along so I shall just pause here and continue tomorrow!

Happy Birthday to me :D



My Favourite colours ^-^

Intern Life

It's been 5 weeks of my intern life.

And I must say it is going downhill. I am getting less and less work, almost to no work at all.
Last week my Intern Mentor (IM) came to visit me and see how I was coping.
Well she had a talk with my supervisor and I must say it was not good. She had a talk with me afterwards and say she was disappointed to hear that my work performance was not good.
I think the main cause would be I am not initiative enough. But as I start to sit in the reception desk, I feel that I am far away from the credit department. Sometimes when they were having serious talks, they would close the door and I wonder I should listen or not.

I feel such an extra, damn sad sia this kind of feeling.

After the talk with IM, I thought I would be doing better by being more initiative and ask for work. But today, in the morning I was busy doing my Internship report, I thought I should ask them in the afternoon. But I heard that my supervisor is going to go out soon and I do not dare to ask for work again. My colleagues were also busy calculating the bank statements all those.

I feel myself being such useless. It really is depressing.


This is how I feel every intern day :(
I really can't wait for Intern to end.

POSITIVE STUFF
Well talk about something positive, tomorrow is my BIRTHDAY!! YEAH
And I am going to be 20 years olddddddddddddddddd
Today, being the last day of being 19, I went to sign up for bone marrow donation ^-^
I have been wanting to go sign up for it! Since at this special day of mine, I shall go sign up heheh

So, this year I am going to many trips and Rannie just ask me if I want to go Hong Kong and Korea during 27 Mar-10 Apr.
But I already had 3 trips before that and I really don't think I could afford for another trip. They say I pay for the flight tickets can already but I ask the price and it's freaking about S$800+.
Sigh I don't think I can join. I couldn't possibly ask my mum for more money, I spoil my freaking IPHONE 6 PLUS 128GB for dropping into the toiletbowl on the 31st Dec 2015. Yes on the last day of 2015! And on 1st Jan 2016, I got another IPHONE 6 PLUS 64GB for S$800!!

I do not dare to spoil this again. I must say my mum really dote on me. I seriously could not ask for more. I still have to ask her to pay for my braces. I sound like a spoilt brat.
If I had not start on Sports Betting, maybe I could have save up so much more.
Now got so many things going on, sigh, really regret on starting Sports.
Damn sian.

So back to being positive, I got to work hard. Idk if I can feel motivated doing this internship, maybe tomorrow I ask for work. My grades are going to be so affected.



They all say I very BOY lol so ya stay positive bro!!